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relationships

3 Strategies for Dealing with Shallow People

Photo courtesy of Expanded Consciousness.

Photo courtesy of Expanded Consciousness.

I've known many people who'd rather live life on the surface than ever find out who they really are.

Not sure what I mean? These are people who lead a superficial lifestyle (even within their intimate relationships with family and close friends) and only seem to be able to talk about how much better, cooler, or smarter they are than others or on certain topics -- think, the person who always has to be a "one upper" or a "know-it-all" in a conversation, or are quick to give bullshit explanations for their actions or behaviors when you know better.

So what can you do when you encounter or have to endure time with these individuals??

1) You see them for who they are and accept them as is. But in doing so, doesn't mean you have to agree with them.

2) You get to choose how much of your time, if any, you interact with this person. If keeping them at a distance feels good, then go with that.

3) If you cannot avoid interactions (maybe they're a relative or "in-law,") you can meet them where they're at by referring back to #1 and continuing to be YOU, just smarter! 

And here's the important HOW:

When the opportunity arises, shift the conversation to other topics to diffuse their show-off behavior. That might mean you sincerely ask, for example, about their kids, a pet, or how their parents are doing. This transition may seem to catch them off guard a bit, but go with it and observe any changes. Did their demeanor relax more? If so, then those are the topics to stick to in future conversations.

But if their behavior doesn't change - their intensity level stays high or their tone of voice doesn't chill, then make a mental note of that and try to find a new safe topic. And if that still doesn't work, then don't waste your energy or time any longer trying to converse with this person and politely excuse yourself ASAP. 

In doing so you are making the healthy (mental & emotional) choice to NOT participate in conversations that are shallow or superficial, and it frees the "show off/one upper" to find the people who enjoy these type of conversations with them more.

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Get Featured in my Next Book!

Photo courtesy of: Google Images/Tania M Adams/LinkedIn

Photo courtesy of: Google Images/Tania M Adams/LinkedIn

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE FEATURED IN MY NEXT BOOK?

Beginning in September, I'll begin writing book #2 in my relationship series. I'd love to hear strategies you'd recommend that worked post-divorce or break-up that helped you heal faster and/or move on with your life.

OR, if you've got tips on what to avoid or not do, that would be great too! Your strategies and tips could make it into my book (anonymously if you prefer) and help thousands of women stay focused and avoid mistakes, wasted time, or unnecessary heart ache.

Email me at jodi@jodischuelke with the subject line of "Get Featured" if you're interested in sharing your story with me so we can help other women avoid unnecessary heartache, mistakes, and stress. I'm looking forward to hearing from you! ♥ 

The Answer to "Why Did You Decide to Write Your Book?"

Since publishing my first book, I Just Want Out in March, I’ve had a lot of people ask me why I decided to write it and I wanted to share that with you today.

The short answer is this: I wrote it to share my story and to be able to help other women in similar situations smartly, safely, and swiftly leave their marriage.

The truth is - and I fully believe this - is that women who learn to listen to and trust their intuition experience more freedom and joy in their life. And I’m passionate about helping women reclaim their strength, open up new ways of thinking, and discover breakthroughs so they can move on from relationships that are no longer serving them.

I use my first-hand experience from my own 10+ years spent trying to fix my emotionally abusive first marriage, going through a divorce, and co-parenting to help guide women on their own journeys because I wish someone would have been there for me in that way.

It’s one thing to go through this experience on your own, but it’s entirely different to have someone standing by your side, holding your hand through every step of the process. The strength and support gained from that type of partnership is immeasurable.

If you could find your freedom and happiness again, would it be worth a few extra minutes to learn how?

Schedule a free strategy session with me today to get started. No worries, there won't be any hard sell. Just a conversation between friends.

And if you haven't done so yet, click HERE to get your copy of I Just Want Out today.