This week I had the privilege to be quoted in a GoBankingRates.com online article about relationships and money, and more specifically about signs your significant other is lying about money.
Sometimes lying about or hiding money is a necessity, such as preparing to depart a toxic or emotionally abusive relationship. In my book, I Just Want Out: Seven Careful Steps to Leaving Your Emotionally Abusive Husband, readers are taught how to financially and physically protect themselves (and their children) before exiting their relationship and getting divorced.
And then there may be situations where you find yourself on the opposite end, and due to a string of oddities either suspect or discover that your significant other is lying or hiding money. In this instance the trust you held for your partner quickly diminishes or is totally blown to bits.
But then, even before you decide to confront your significant other, you begin to have doubts or question if what you know is correct or not. You may feel compelled to confide in a close friend or family member about what you thinkyou saw, only for them to fill you with false hope or shame you for being suspicious.
Your mind whirls even more and thoughts such as these fill your head....
- Maybe he's just saving up for something special for me and that's why he's been keeping it a secret, like for my birthday or our upcoming anniversary?
- Wait....I really don't have the right to nose around and dig into his personal business like this. I'm not some crazy diva type!
So you do what seems like the next best thing and try to shake it off as you just being paranoid. But guess what? That lingering question is still sitting there in the back of your mind which, after a bit, will slip back into the forefront and you'll find yourself being even more observant of your partners behaviors and actions. This will most likely continue until you get to that breaking point and confront him.
The tough part about confrontations is that you can get a variety of responses or reactions, such as:
- Gas lighting - where he spins it back around and accuses you of being crazy.
- Denial, more lying
- Sadness, regret for his actions
- Total truth - which may be good or bad
The good news is if you listen to your gut (aka, your intuition) your body will tell you the real truth. So listen to that and take the necessary steps to either reconcile things or consider if this truly is the type of relationship you want to stay in.
If you find yourself in a situation where your significant other has been lying to you -- and that's a total deal breaker for you -- and you're looking for some guidance on how to step away from your relationship or marriage, I'd love to help you create a smart exit strategy – click HERE to get started.
We will have a 30-minute free consultation to discuss your problem and lay out your game plan. And if you're interested in having me be by your side through the planning and departure steps, we together can determine if we're a good fit to work together. And if I conclude it isn’t, I will give you my best advice on other options or resources. Click here to schedule your free consultation.
So if you think this might help you, or might help someone you know that is in this situation, please email me, or share this blog post with them and have them contact me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Here's the link to the GoBankingRates.com article so you can check it out: Signs Your Significant Other is Lying About Money